The boot camp conspiracy theory

Everyone loves a conspiracy theory, and NACB has good one for your delectation today concerning Jimmy Anderson and the England boot camp.

According to the ECB, Anderson ‘sustained a cracked rib during England's recent preparation camp in Germany’. Most media outlets went further and suggested his bowling partner Chris Tremlett punched Anderson a little too hard during a sparring session. Where this extra information came from is unclear.

But such is the intelligence and clearsightedness of Andy Flower and Andrew Strauss, that something doesn’t ring true. The England management would never be so stupid as to let the players thump the living daylights out of each other just weeks before the Ashes. Would they?

And why does the media release state that ‘it is anticipated that Anderson will be fit and available for selection for the first Test match against Australia in Brisbane’? Is such a speedy recovery from a cracked rib normal? And how come he has been seen playing golf and weightlifting in the Old Trafford gym since returning to the UK?

Could it be that the whole story is fiction? Perhaps it’s a smokescreen to deflect attention away from a problem somewhere else. Perhaps it’s an elaborate ruse to lull the Aussies into a false sense of security. We may never know, but there are dark forces at work.

So there’s no cracked rib, there were no sparring sessions, and Jimmy A will be roaring in to bowl on the first morning at the Gabba refreshed from a few extra hours in the steamroom. Never have I wanted to believe a conspiracy theory more.