Tuffers: an update

I didn't know what to make of former Latin American dance champion Shirley Ballas's comments on Tuesdays' edition of Strictly Come Dancing - It Takes Two. She described Tuffers as being a 'hard worker' with 'some rhythm' (with the emphasis very definitely on the 'some'). She went on to say that 'he'll have to work hard on his body movements.' Are these statements genuinely positive, or entirely euphemistic? Two days more, and all will be revealed.

Tuffers: the wait goes on

What's going on? The nation has spent all day waiting for Phil Tufnell to do the salsa or the mambo or another fiendishly complicated Latin dance, and it turns out that he won't be strutting his stuff till next week.

I'm not sure I can wait. I cannot distinguish between the memory of Tuffers skipping in to bowl with those strangely flat-footed, splayed feet, and how I imagine he will look on the dancefloor. It's going to be so much fun.

And surely he can't be worse than Joe Calzaghe? It looks horribly like the greatest boxer Britain has ever produced is destined to be this year's John Sargeant.

Good luck Tuffers! You'll need it.

We've almost made it to the end. Sunday sees the last England international of the season. Players, management and fans can take a well-earned breather, resting aching bodies and tired minds ... for 48 hours until the Champions Trophy begins in South Africa.

Of course, England's ineptitude hasn't helped public interest in this series. But even if we were tied at 3-3 now, would the great British public really be waiting for this last match with bated breath and well-bitten fingernails?

The moment has passed. Now is the time for the crowning of county champions and showpiece finals, rather than the twelfth match of the summer between England and Australia. Now is also the time for Tuffers to do his stuff on Strictly Come Dancing, which might well be more entertaining than all seven one-day internationals put together.

The rabbit to end all rabbits

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel slightly uncomfortable about Phil Tufnell offering advice on batting technique during his stints at the microphone on Test Match Special?