I have come across another way of getting hold of tickets for the Ashes. I would like to share it with you all, as I am a thoughtful, generous person.
So if you want to see Australia breaking records for their highest ever innings total, or English bowlers looking like they could bowl for the rest of the season without taking a wicket, go to http://www.sport-magazine.co.uk/119/119_article_right_3.htm before Wednesday.
And if you don't win the main prize, you might win a year's supply of Sure deodorant instead, which apparently offers unbeatable protection. There's a joke there somewhere.